Tuesday, March 03, 2009

"i hate goodbyes.especially to something i feel attached." -alan's blog

i truly agree with that.
well, last wednesday marks the end of my exams in SP and i'm unofficially graduated.
i dont know to feel happy or sad about the whole thing.
happy that i've finally graduated and can move on to the next stage of my life.
BUT the times that i've spent in SP, the place where i've been so attached now just makes it a little sour to leave.

i must say that the times i've spent in SP are really wonderful times.
especially all the camps and activities that i was involved in CLS.
those were really the good old days, those GL days, those GM days, day tour, everything.
if only we can revive those days.

well.. the examination period was really a tough one for me.
especially with that emotional burden still in me, i found it really a struggle to concentrate.
on top of that, i fell sick during this period.
even though, this semester was the lightest, the least number of papers i have and i should be feeling the most relaxed compared to my previous 5 semesters, i felt the total opposite.
it felt so long and torturing.
my first paper was a goner, having a 20m question that you did not even study.
but almost everyone felt the same way so hopefully there's a moderation.
not long after the first paper, i fell sick.
i had a really bad sore throat and a fever.
initially, it was suspected to be dengue as i had like 10 bites on my legs and arms and they were really swollen.
went to the doctor and had to take blood tests for two days to monitor.
i went on to take my second paper, feeling really sick still.
i knew that i was really not in the right state, but i did not wish to retake the paper next semester so i went on to take it.
it was not well done at all and i fear that i might even have problem passing.
but i prayed really hard for God's blessings and i believe that He will lead me thru'.

based on the blood tests results, my white blood cells and platelets went down a little and the doctor referred me to the hospital.
but i had one paper left to go and i did not want to give it up coz it was the only paper i was familiar and most confident with.
so i struggled to study with the fever that lasted a week.
i went for the paper again not in the right state.
the paper was okay but if i was in a better condition, i knew i could have done better.
but it's over already and i'm just glad i got thru' it.

sadly i ended my papers but could not go out to celebrate with my classmates.
went to Alexandara hospital to have a clearer checkup.
did another blood test and the white blood cells were still low and the doctor decided to have me admitted for fear that i might catch a viral infection outside due to the low immune.
i spent two days in the hospital and they just kept drawing blood.
they took 5 tubes of blood from each side of my arm.
and took another two more the second day.
these left those blue-blacks on my arms.
i was tested negative for dengue and my white blood cells though low was much better.
i was discharged but had to stay home to rest and avoid crowds as my immune was still low.
have to go back for review next week.

but i must say that i'm really thankful for the Lord has carried me thru' this difficult period and for His blessings over me.