Friday, April 17, 2009

it's been awhile.

i woke up with a bad start of the day.
a really bad start.
got scolded by mummy.
i know it's my fault that i've not been packing my room and i'm sorry.
but i feel really hurt by all the words that were said.
oh well. =/ i'll feel better (:

anyway, i was packing my room just now and i chanced upon many stuff.
felt the need to blog it out before i overload again.
as i look back on birthday cards that friends gave me, those little notes/letters from some of my closer friends, i cant help but reminisce those times.
those were the young and innocent days.

saw a card that my puppy love back in primary school gave me!
haha. those were the days that little girl and little boy kind of have good feelings for each other.
i would say we like each other back then, definitely not love.

dont you agree that as we grow older, we learn much more?
just like love, from a primary school crushes/puppy love to secondary school times of the confused stage about love and relationship to the serious love relationship now?
i dont know.
but as i look back now, i know very sure that back in primary school it was only a liking. continued to look thru that secret drawer, i found many other letters.
letters that brought me back to secondary school days.
to the times that these three guys got somewhat related to me.
they were all good guys but sadly, i had to hurt two for one.
as i read the letters that one of them wrote, i realised how much i've hurt him in the past and i feel really sorry about.
perhaps like what i've said, i wasnt sure of what i want back then. i was confused.
and i gave him the wrong idea.
i didnt want to lead him on further and so i made it clear and thus, causing that hurt.
my apologies!
as for the other, i know that he has always wanted to be there for me and all. but knowing that i dont want to hurt him in the long run, i chose to hurt him then.

dont you think it's all funny how we choose to hurt those who love us so much, who pampers us, who treats us good for someone whom we love so much even though the person doesnt do much for you?
i chose to hurt the two guys who really treated me well and did so much for me because i love that guy who didnt had to do much to gain my love.
that is how funny love can sometimes be.

and so that was my love life back then.

i'm off to packing again!
maybe i'll bring back more memories. (: